我对自己习作的点评

ssue

"Colleges and universities should offer more courses on popular music,
film, advertising and television because contemporary culture has much
greater relevance for students than do arts and literature of the past."

Essay

Few people, if asked, would deny that colleges and universities should
offer art and literature courses to students. Yet when it comes to whether
other courses like popular music, film, advertising and television should
make up a greater portion in the curriculum, there is hardly a consensus.
I, however, hold the opinion that the classical classes should always be
most important.

Before trapping myself into needless arguments, let me first make an
analyis of what role our higher education plays in this modern society.
Universities, different from the career training courses, are supposed to
teach great values to people, especially young people, so that these values
will take roots in their minds and mode them into truely gentle and kind
men and women. In a sense, what universities preach are "useless"
knowledge, in the light of practical uses. Here, I by no means refer to the
word "useless" in a negative way, rather, I believe it is just the so-
called useless knowledge that makes human beings true human beings. It
teaches us to cherish kindness and tolerance to othes; to take care of all
kind of people, be them our parents or strangers; to seek ultimate truth of
the mystery of nature,and so on. In a word, arts and literature courses of
the past aim to build men and women into liberal and kind persons.They are
looing further than their own merits. They are possibly commercial leaders,
policy makers, NGO founders; But most importantly, people trained in this
way will keep all people's welfare in their minds rather than thier own.

On the contrary, career training only focuses on survival skills. People
can turn out to be very efficient or handy after they have taken up these
courses. Unfortunately, there is little hope that they can learn real
values to be a man, not a manager or an engineer .

In the similar way, offering more courses on popular music, film,
advertising and television will have the same effect. Admittedly, they are
more relevant with our daily life and are prone to attract more attention
from the mass, I still cast doubt on the "relevant values". A true artists
should not act by catering to his audience. He or she is destined to say
what he or she wants to say, even if none will echo it. Time is their
belief. They are working for Time and audience thousands of years later.
Relevance of reality will extort the seriousnes of their works to a large
extent .

I do not look down upon practical entertainment. But I believe there are
already plenty of popular music, funny films, attractive advertisments and
soap series. They are produced more in a manufacturing way rather than a
art-creating way. Music and film are more and more taking on a look of
products in this post-modern society, which reaveals a sharp contrast with
what they used to be.

Colleges and universities should resume the responsibility to guard our
classical values and the "useless" knowledge. While career training courses
are accomplishing their aim of making attractive things, higher education
should stick to their tough goal for they are the paradise for human's
thoughts.

In summary, I strongly suggest college and universities remain classical
arts and literature courses and leave those relevant with contemporary
culture to other schools.

(553字)

我的点评和感想如下：
1。由于审题太匆忙，而且这个题目与我喜欢的话题比较相近，我竟然偏题了。把arts and
literature of the past理解成了以前的大学生所学的art and literature，也就是古典
艺术和文学。所以我文中出现的都是classical云云。还好这样的理解，也勉强说得通。所以
不算太偏题。但是很明显，我和范文的立意走的是不同的路。范文强调的是古代的知识和现
代的知识对现代人的影响，而我强调的是，大学应该保留“无用的知识”以维系人类之所以
为人的尊严，这是大学和一般的职业教育区别所在。

2。范文比较balanced,既说现当代的好，也说以前的好，最后还总结学生既应学习现代的，
也应该学习古代的。而我的作文里，虽然也提到两方面，但是对古代的情有独钟，花了很多
笔墨。另外，我还提到了职业教育。不知道这样是不是扯得太远。相比之下，我的倾向性很
强。（当然，反对世俗的文化教育，是我一贯的态度。）

3。在旁征博引方面，我显然逊色多了。其实我今天写的太急，忘了应该举例（我一碰到喜欢
的话题就滔滔不绝的说理，只有写不出大道理时才会想起举例子。其实这样真是扬短避长，
因为毕竟我们要用英文说理，并不是很得心应手的）。但是范文的例子，虽然我可以为之击
掌，却觉得用不上。即使那些例子我都知道，也不知道相应的英文怎么说。尤其是人名地
名。所以我觉得这方面嘉文博译有些疏忽了。他光顾着把文章写的漂亮，忘了对普通学生的
借鉴性。

4。我觉得我在句式变化方面做的还好，但是动词的生动性显然不如范文，这也是我要努力的
地方。

我暂时想到的就这么多，很希望各位给我一点意见，多多批评指正！